The problem is that blind trust existed, not that it's gone, although it seems that the problem is that it's gone. I believe the biggest loss from being betrayed is the loss of illusions.
I feel I trust my W 100% even while knowing she - or I - could screw up. Blind trust is a burden that shouldn't be dumped on anybody, IMO.
*****
I am still processing whether that reflects a phase or something deeper, so I am observing behaviour now rather than drawing conclusions.
I think that's the best approach - watching actions, not believing to words until they're backed up.
If your H has been honest and loving since he stopped, R seems eminently possible for you, if you want to R. If you want D, or if your WH really isn't remorseful, you can D with your head held high.
*****
IMO, your best goal is to heal. I think you know that. IMO, the you process the anger, grief, fear, and shame out of your body, the more you will heal, and the better your life will be whether you D, R, or gather more info. You're really in charge of your own healing.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
d-day - 12/22/2010 Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
